Trudeau hopes to build relationship with Trump over shared daddy issues

OTTAWA – On his way to Washington for their first meeting, Prime Minister Trudeau is keen on building a strong and stable connection with President Donald Trump by focusing on their deep seeded and conflicting feelings towards their fathers.

“It is my belief that Canadians and Americans have many things in common, and in this instance the President and I share an unwavering admiration and simultaneous resentment towards our Papas”, said Trudeau. “I feel our quasi-Oedipus complex is the best platform upon which we can grow a long lasting partnership.”

Despite disagreeing with Trump’s recent executive order to ban refugees from seven primarily Muslim countries, Trudeau is determined to relate to the new President. “Yes, I think his actions are infringing on people’s human rights but his Dad never said I’m proud of you and mine only hugged me when cameras were nearby. So despite our differences we both feel a profound sadness that will never be resolved.”

Press Secretary, Sean Spicer, echoed Trudeau’s statements this morning, “The Prime Minister and President Trump both want a healthy relationship, something they were never able to achieve with their fathers.” He added, “We are excited to have them come together to wallow in self doubt and melancholy.”

The leaders are set for their first face-to-face Monday with an agenda that will cover NAFTA, the XL pipeline, and a one-hour game of catch.

If the government’s strategy does not garner an open and productive dialogue, the Prime Minister is optimistic that he can still bond with Trump on a more fundamental similarity, as privileged white males.