TRUMP REPORTS WORLD RECORD 39 UNDER PAR, 12 HOLES-IN-ONE, DURING GOLF OUTING WITH JAPANESE PRIME MINISTER

President Donald Trump and Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe hit the links at the world famous Trump National Jupiter Golf Club & Spa on Saturday with hopes of forging a diplomatic bond but ended up with much more.

While no press was allowed to cover the event, due to being holed up in the clubhouse basement with black plastic blocking all views of the outside world, a statement put out by Press Secretary Sean Spicer confirms that President Trump broke two long standing world records and accomplished golf’s greatest feat.  Trump reportedly finished the round of 18 with a whopping 39 under par breaking the previous record set by former North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il in 1994.  The record breaking round included no less than 12 holes-in-one also besting the previous record set by Jong-Il making Trump the greatest golfer in recorded history.

In what is being dubbed the “greatest golf match in history”, Trump came out swinging with holes-in-one on the first three holes (410 yard par 4, 387 yard par 4 and 464 yard par 4) followed by a double-eagle on the difficult 570 yard par 5  hole 4.  After a strong 450 yard drive into the wind, Trump reportedly sunk the 120 yard approach shot with ease.  He followed that up with holes-in-one on the next two holes (a challenging 135 yard par 3 and a long 363 yard par 4) before recording a birdie on the 560 yard par 5 seventh hole.  Trump wrapped up the front 9 with two more holes-in-one for a total of 7 aces going into the second round with an amazing score of just 12.

The back nine proved to be more of a challenge for Trump who rimmed out a putt on the 547 yard par 5 tenth hole for a birdie.  Hole 11, a 434 yard dog leg left par 4 proved to be no challenge for Trump as he drained his tea shot for what would be his 8th ace of the day.  Hole 12, a long and challenging dog leg right par 4 at faced a similar fate as Trump rolled one in from 454 yards out.  Hole 13, a straight away par 5 at 529 yards proved to be Trump’s worst hole of the day on the scorecard.  Although reaching the green in just one massive drive, Trump reportedly three-putted for a birdie.  The visibly distressed Trump held his composure to go on to drain the next three tea shots on hole 14 (209 yard par 3), hole 15 (a short yet challenging 379 yard par 4), and hole 16 (a slight dog leg left par 4 at 403 yards) for a world record 12 holes-in-one and an astounding 39 under par round of 55.  From all accounts it was a round of the ages.

The much anticipated visit comes amid increasing tensions at home and abroad for the Trump administration who in just three weeks has managed to alienate much of his base, several foreign leaders and the nearly 60% of Americans who did not vote for him.

Trump reportedly wrapped up his evening with dinner for members of the Japanese delegation and Prime Minister Abe at the “winter White House” Mar-a-Lago.  No word yet as to how incredible the dinner was, but all assumptions point to it being incredible, fantastic, and the best.

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