In case you spent first half of the week off-planet with dangerous Wi-Fi and no significant contact with anybody aside from that cute, six-armed intergalactic Starbucks barista, you don’t have any doubt already heard that Carson Wentz tore his ACL and Star Wars: Episode VIII The Final Jedi is LIKE THE SECOND BEST STAR WARS MOVIE EVER BEHIND ‘EMPIRE STRIKES BACK’ OMG [UNINTELLIGIBLE GARBLING]. Now, ordinarily, these front-page storylines would have little or no to do with one another, however due to the magic of the web, we now reside in a world with out boundaries. Behold Star Wars: The Final QB. WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD.
That is proper. You heard it right here first, of us: Nick Foles—former Eagles beginning quarterback turned, umm, present Eagles beginning quarterback—is, in truth, The Final Jedi. Sorry Luke. Sorry Rey. Sorry all 12 of you who thought it was gonna be the Porg. The drive belongs to Foles, a moppy-haired ASU gunslinger who posted a 28.1 QBR in his ultimate season as a starter and appears just like the Hanson brother who ended up bagged groceries as a substitute. The Philly Phaithful shall be hoping this ridiculous (and ridiculously humorous) mash-up is extra premonition than parody, after all, however one thing inform us its gonna be a tough couple of weeks for younger grasp Foles.
Here is hoping they’re too busy throwing at batteries at Santa to purpose them at you, child.